i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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