dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
