I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
