he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
