Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
