You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
