i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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