I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Well douche your snatch and let's go!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
