Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
