Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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