Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Randomize
