maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
