Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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