hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
