Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize