Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
