White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
