I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
