Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
