I think I died a long time ago.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize