Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
