I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
