I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
