Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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