I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
