I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize