I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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