the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize