This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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