I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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