can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
