There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
you inspire me to be a worse person
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
