that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
