he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
