I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
