my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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