Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
