I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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