we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
