My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize