Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
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