i just google imaged poop.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
