"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
