I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
