Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
