so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
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