I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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