I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just pee around me
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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