Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
The air taste purple.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
