Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize