try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
