Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
there is glitter all over my balls
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
