fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
The power of my boobs compel you
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
