His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize