butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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