I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
