Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
