my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
