now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Girls should come with a carfax report
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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