Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
