She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
