I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
