She announced her abortion via fbk
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
