i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
