S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
