she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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